Before movements like #MeToo and #TimesUp took the world by storm, I had my own experiences with sexual harassment. Interestingly enough, the man who crossed boundaries with me was a best buddy of the Chairman of a major television network who soon after was mentioned in a high profile sexual harassment lawsuit of his own. He went out of his way to try to disparage my reputation, which only added salt to the wound of an already painful experience.
However, my first encounter with harassment was in Trinidad, where I spent my childhood before making my way to the USA as a teenager. I was around 12 or 13 when my mom sent me to the supermarket nearby. That’s when I encountered a man in his 20s who thought it would be cute to get my attention by whistling and then hitting me with that all-too-familiar “psssst” sound—y'know, the one men often use to grab a woman's attention on the street?
Even though I was pretty young, I tried to stand my ground by responding to him. But instead of backing off, he fired back with a crude comment that left me feeling embarrassed and ashamed. That moment marked the start of years filled with catcalls, lewd comments, and outright harassment—first in Trinidad and later on in the U.S.
A Turning Point
Fast forward to my later experience with harassment, which echoed similar stories about powerful men that many of us have heard. That experience was a wake-up call for me. It came at a pivotal point in my life, right around the time I gave birth to my daughter. Suddenly, I found this new courage bubbling inside me. It hit me that I needed to stand up—not just for myself but to be a role model she could look up to.
I made the conscious choice to confront the audacity of those who think a woman’s body is an invitation for inappropriate behavior, whether that's through offensive comments or outright molestation. My decision stemmed from a commitment to combat sexual harassment and violence. I wanted to shine a light on the emotional and physical toll these experiences take on their victims.
A Betrayal by a Champion for Women
One of the most painful moments was when Gloria Allred, known for being a champion for women, declined to represent me. It felt like a deep betrayal. After all, she knew who I was & fought to become the first female member of that same club as many of the men involved, and it was hard to reconcile how someone who's spent her life fighting for women's rights could turn a blind eye to my story. This situation felt not just personal; it underscored a troubling reality that figures like her—and many others—can sometimes be part of the problem.
You can’t pick and choose whose story or experience deserves to be heard. The selectivity in who gets support only perpetuates the silence and pain that so many women endure, leaving their experiences unvalidated and ignored.
The Reality of Harassment
Let’s make this clear: No one asks to be harassed, abused, or discriminated against. It’s completely wrong to think that someone’s looks, style, or how they express themselves somehow invites those behaviours. There’s a disturbing trend that we’ve seen—an erosion of basic human decency and respect for one another. The normalisation of sexually inappropriate behavior shows a real lack of empathy and understanding.
People need to be accountable for their own actions instead of blaming others for how they react. The reality is that sexual harassment and violence affect people everywhere, and the myth that just being "modest" will keep you safe is just that—a myth. Everyone deserves respect, regardless of how they choose to present themselves.
Vindication Through Truth
In a strange twist of fate, vindication came for me and so many others when the behaviors of men like Harvey Weinstein and Donald Trump were brought to light. I wasn’t surprised at all, especially considering I had welcomed these men frequently to events hosted by the Friars Club. They were all in the same "RATPACK" . Many would often brush off these conversations, but watching their actions exposed on such a massive scale felt like a long-awaited moment of reckoning. It highlighted the pervasive nature of the problem we all knew existed but so many chose to ignore.
Strength in Standing Up
True strength is about speaking your truth and standing up for what’s right, even when it’s not easy. The journey toward empowerment isn’t an easy one; it often requires sacrifices—personal, emotional, and social. But that pursuit is so worth it. It can bring about positive change in our lives and in society.
Movements like #MeToo and #TimesUp have played a huge role in making these crucial conversations happen. They’ve empowered survivors to share their stories and have shone a light on those who harm others. It feels like we’re finally taking steps toward justice!
Looking Ahead
As I navigate my future—filled with uncertainty—one thing is crystal clear: I’m determined to fight for a better tomorrow, not just for myself and my daughter, but for everyone who has faced sexual harassment and violence. I’m committed to getting involved in awareness campaigns and supporting efforts to help victims of sexual and domestic violence.
If you’re someone who’s been affected by sexual assault, I want you to know that you are stronger than you think. You have the power and courage to confront your abuser and refuse to let their actions define you. No one has the right to cross your personal boundaries, and you can take decisive action to protect yourself and others from harm.
Let’s Stand Together
We’ll face this challenge together and fight for a world where everyone is respected and valued. Your voice matters—never forget that! 💪✨
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