Parenting as an immigrant

in today’s world of endless screens and social media is a unique challenge we face every day. Getting my child off devices and engaged in more traditional activities can often feel like an uphill battle. No parent is perfect, but I’ve learned that maintaining clear boundaries—knowing when to be a parent and not just a friend—is crucial. There’s a deep difference between these roles, and I believe it’s essential not to question your authority when it comes to setting discipline and limits. Our children are our future, and the boundaries we set now shape the adults they will become.

Each family’s journey is different, and what works for one might not work for another. But some things remain universal: respect, discipline, and healthy device usage must start young. Our kids don’t come into this world clutching a tablet, just like they don’t arrive with bad manners or unhealthy eating habits. It’s us, as parents, who decide what to allow. Sometimes, in trying to give them everything we didn’t have, we end up overindulging—too much fast food, ignoring poor behaviour, and letting devices take over. In this, we may unknowingly satisfy our own needs more than theirs. We have to do better for their sake.

As much as we want to assimilate into our new homes, it’s important to hold onto our core values, morals, and traditions. These can serve as a powerful foundation for nurturing our children in a balanced, positive way. Blending the best of both worlds—the lessons from our past and the realities of our new environment—can help us raise children who respect discipline, appreciate their heritage, and thrive in the modern world. Parenting is a tough journey, but staying true to these principles feels like the best gift we can give our children.

How can I effectively communicate boundaries to my child in a way that they understand and respect?

To effectively communicate boundaries to your child in a way they understand and respect, you can follow these practical steps:

Option 1. Use Clear and Age-Appropriate Communication

Be Specific and Simple: Explain the boundary clearly using language your child can understand. Avoid vague statements and be direct about what behaviour is expected and why.

Explain the Reasons: Help your child understand the “why” behind the boundary. For example, “We turn off the TV to keep your eyes healthy” or “We don’t hit because it hurts others”.

Use Examples and Stories: Use relatable examples or stories to illustrate the importance of the boundary. This helps children grasp abstract ideas better.

Option 2. Foster Empathy and Self-Awareness

Talk About Feelings: Encourage your child to recognise their own feelings and think about how others might feel in similar situations. This builds empathy and helps them appreciate why boundaries matter.

Ask Reflective Questions: Use questions like “How do you think your friend felt when you took the toy?” to prompt their understanding of others' emotions and promote respect for boundaries.

Model Boundary Setting: Demonstrate setting your own boundaries respectfully. Children learn a lot by watching how you handle your interactions with others.

Option 3. Establish Consistency and Consequences

Be Consistent: Maintain the same boundaries across different situations and follow through consistently. Predictability helps children feel secure and understand limits better.

Set Clear Consequences: Explain what will happen if the boundary is crossed and apply those consequences calmly and fairly. This teaches responsibility rather than punishment.

Encourage Cooperation: Involve your child, when appropriate, in setting boundaries and consequences to give them a sense of control and ownership.

By combining clear communication, empathy-building, and consistent enforcement, you create a nurturing environment where your child understands and respects boundaries as vital tools for their growth and well-being.